


Soldiers Daughter

by ENC95



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dark, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Physical Abuse, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ENC95/pseuds/ENC95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if while Bucky Barns was the Winter Soldier he fathered a child?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prologue the next chapter will be the first chapter of the story. I hope you all like it because I'm a little unsure of whether I should go on. So, if you want more tell me. If it sucks tell me. If you want write me a nice little note do it. if you have hate keep it to yourself.  
> P.S- This is my first fic for this movie/fandom so I ask you all to be nice. That's it and enjoy.

**Hydra Base of Operations Washington D.C June 7** **th** **,1995**

They all looked at the small round human it had been two hours since its birth and it hadn't stopped crying. Pierce looked at it, her the child was a girl not that mattered all that mattered was her being here. There where other tries six in fact but this the only to live.

“Pick it up and hold it?” He tells the scientist they look at it then carefully they hold it out from their bodies.

“It had been fed and changed it shouldn't be crying.”

“It's a baby not at solider,” the gray headed man said.

“We train soldiers,” the doctors say.

That was true the infant was not a soldier yet but after they nearly lost the Winter Solider it was deemed necessary to breed him. This child the soldiers daughter would lead them into the future. If she lived that long it was clear from the scent of disinfectant and lack of attention that she could never live here.

“She needs Parents not handlers.” Pierce said taking the little person in his arm. “Two people who can her give her the attention that children need but also train her. Then she would given back and made to be a solider. Of course the parents would be our people.”

**Two Days later**

Harold McDaniel and Rachel Young were called on for this mission not just because they were two of the best agents. So, they sat in the middle of the little house outside of D.C. It was a picture house that any young family would want. Except they hated it the house the neighbors, each other and of course the child, it screamed every moment that it wasn't being fed or sleeping. Rachel had accepted the mission knowing it would be the best years of her life but if she could say that the child was product of her training then she would have done world changing. Harold had been the only male candidate that would take the mission.

Her, Rachel says to herself “It needs a name.”

Harold nods “It needs to shut up.” He turns the radio on its the one of the few things he could bring from his apartment to this house. The song starts its old hippie music “Fucken Bob Dylan.”

“Wait,” Rachel says as the child stops crying

They look at it “She likes it.”

**One Year later**

“Daddy!”

“Hey Sweetie.” Harold picks up the girl god did she look like the Soldier not that any of them knew that.

“Hi honey how was Berlin?”

“Good,” He kisses Rachel.

They had been warned not to get to attached to their assignment but each other they had no restrictions. Of course they couldn't have a child of their own that was acceptable to them they had their hands full right now with her.

“Dylan show Daddy what you can do.” Rachel sits the small child down the serum that was in her father's blood was in her's too. She was stronger than children her age that meant she could pull herself up throw her carrots covered spoons across the room denting the wall. Standing on wobbly legs she takes a step across the living room .

Harold claps his hands “That's great.”

**Three years later**

“Dylan Elizabeth Young stay still.” Harold took her last name they had fought on the mats in the days before given the child over what name they would have.

“Why do I have to wear this,” She asks holding up her plaid skirt. “I can't run in this.”

They had started her training already gymnastics and swimming lesson to strengthen her muscles but running was what she loved most. It takes all her energy and she had looks of energy to expand.

“It's a school uniform all the girl will wear them.” The woman leans down “Now your gonna be stronger than the other kids so you can't get in a fight. If someone hits you don't hit back.”

“Okay Mama.”

“When will Daddy be back from Budapest?”

“Soon.”

**Ten years later**

“Who is my father?”

They had been waiting for this question since she didn't look at them. It was their cover story that she is adopted. It was told her when she first noticed it when she was nine years old. Both of them had brown eyes, Rachel had brownish red hair and Harold had blond hair. She had pale blue eyes that looked right into the soul of a person and straight black hair.

“He was a solider my best friend we met when I was in the army.” Harold says lying to her with ease. The kind ease that comes when you've done it for fifteen years. “He came back but he was different.”

“PTSD?

“Yeah, he asked to look after for a few days and he never came back.”

“What about my Mother?”

“She died giving birth to you.”

“Thank you.” The young woman nods trying not to cry she didn't cry easily.

**Four Years later**

“Yes Mom I know there is a dangerous man out there but I can't come home this weekend I have to study.” Dylan said turning the news off the battle of the Chesapeake had been on all day. The Winter Soldier or Bucky Barn was all over the news some people were even going home. I was enjoying the freedom of college partying way too much to go home.

“Sweetie.”

Dylan rolls her eyes slipping into pair high-heels “Mom I have been trained in hand-to -hand combat since could walk, and I can throw knives not to mention Dad taught me to shoot when I was nine. You two have made sure that I take care of myself. So, please let me?”

There is a pause as she puts the phone on speaker to put on lipstick “Baby we're worried about you.”

“Look after midterms I'll come spend the weekend with you guys okay? That's like two weeks. And since it's highly unlikely that the Winter Soldier will invade the University Maryland for me. I think we'll all be okay.”

“Fine two weeks.”

Dylan sighs locking the door to her dorm there was a party and she was going to it in her favorite black dress. The one that was sure to get her any man if she choose one “I'll see you then.”

She hangs up the woman turns to her lover sliding onto his lap “Two weeks.”

He groans “It's almost over thank god.”

“What you didn't like playing house?” She asks removing her shirt.

“Playing house is one thing and it was kinda fun when she was little but damn the teenage years I almost called the damn team in.”

She rolls her hip and whispers “Me too but its almost over.” 


	2. Fix It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where are we?”  
> “West of D.C,” He says as his arm sparks  
> I stand walking over to him “Let me.”  
> His face is stone set in blank expression he moves his human away from the metal arm.  
> “I'm an engineering major I might be able to fix it.” Not that he asked why I was looking at his arm “What happen to it?”  
> “Tracing device I pulled it out then the arm malfunctioned, I can't use it now.”  
> There is a long wire that should go from the elbow to his hand but at the forearm section is missing. “I think I can fix it.” Of course I can I've been replacing wires since I was eight. “What's your name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is the first chapter the POV will change from Steve to Bucky to Dylan in future chapter but this one just has one POV. I hope you all like it!!!
> 
> P.S I try to self check the work as best as I can but if a mistake is made sorry.

“Mom?” I call into the house I was early but my train was early and I took a cab home to the house hoping to surprise them. Walking up the stairs I see a photographic history of my family. Mom and Dad getting married in Vegas after knowing each other for two days. Mom in a rocking looking at me a little radio is playing music Bob Dylan songs the only voice that could get me to sleep.

That's how I got my name Dylan, when I was still in the whom I would kick when I heard these songs. That's the story my Dad told me anyway. Before my mother died giving birth to me and my birth father left me with them when. You could see how I wasn't related to them both of them blond head, Mom has green eyes and Dad has brown eyes. They are both fair skinned lightly tanned but still lighter than me. Looking at pictures from when I was seven at some martial arts class. Me between them all of us smiling as I hold a trophy a happy family. I stand out from them with my skin olive toned and my straight black hair. My eyes are two piece of blue I couldn't any more different from my parents.

Going to my room I set the bag down its the same as when I left trophy's for fighting in composition. Gymnastics medal I was so flexible that some people said I had bones made of rubber. My parent also made sure I could speak multiple languages not many nineteen year old could speak and also read Russian. They said it was part of my heritage I wonder if that's true. They never talk about my birth parents when I was little that was fine but now I wanted to know. I was over eighteen I could look for them find a picture at least, I didn't even know what my birth parents looked like.

I was never alone here going to their room I move the family picture its just he three of us. No, brothers or sisters Mom couldn't have children and I was all one couple could handle. Behind it is the safe I had seen Dad put his passport and other files in there as a child. If there was any information about my birth parents I would find it here but the keypad I don't know the code.

Going into Mom's bathroom I take her hairspray and face powder this should work I think. Spraying the chemical on the keypad I pause to listen they weren't home but did I want to know this badly? My mother was dead but my father he left me. It hurt me to know that he never not once in the nineteen years I had been alive tried to contact me. Taking the brush I spread the powder I brush it over the pad it sticks to the numbers 1124679. That could be anything I try it as just those numbers it doesn't work it could a date. Five tries later 6121917, I know that day its someone important was born that day.

The safe open there is cash lots of it, one band is ten thousand dollars. Then my Mom and Dad's passports. But, there names aren't on them. Last is a file with the name _Doch' Soldata._ I open the file its all in Russian I can read it of course but I wish I couldn't this file about me. Skimming over it I see summaries about my growth and intelligence from the time I was born. There are also surveillance photos from two weeks ago when I went to a dorm party to a photo of me a newborn being hold by a man in white lab code surrounded by other men in lab coats. Then I see him its not the first time. He's been on the news for the past two weeks the Winter Soldier formally know as Bucky Barns. 

“The Soldiers Daughter.” That's want it says as in the daughter of the Winter Soldier.

“Oh dear,” I look up. “Mom?”

She nods “Clever girl I'm surprised you didn't look before.”

“Mom what's going on.”

My mother pulls out a cell phone dialing a number “This is agent Young I need that extraction team to move in now.”

Run, I tell myself as she smiles at me with this wild look in her eyes. Gripping the file I run past her down the stairs. Only to trip over my father body his head is twisted back “Dad?”

“Dylan sweetie,” Mom calls out loudly as the click of gun rings out. “It's time you've been training for this your whole life. We lost one soldier already, now it's your turn.”As quietly as possible I go to the kitchen. If I could make it to the garage I could take her car and run. I'm almost there when a metal is over my mouth I scream into hand it doesn't move.

“Shhh,” He says his own blue eyes looking up.

“Are you going to kill me?” I ask in a a panicked whisper.

“No.” The thing I see is a large metal hand coming at me. After that its all black.

///\\\\\

“Damn it,” He says waking me. We're in motel room my head hurts like I was hit by a super soldier. A soldier who is paying no mind to me I sit open looking at him. He isn't like the Bucky Barns I read about in school. The long hair that half covers blank look on his face the. Right now he is focused on his metal arm tools likely stolen on a table. Something is wrong he's trying to fix his arm.

“Where are we?”

“West of D.C,” He says as his arm sparks.

I stand walking over to him “Let me.”

His face is stone set in blank expression he move his human away from the metal arm.

“I'm an engineering major I might be able to fix it.” Not that he asked why I was looking at his arm “What happen to it?”

“Tracing device I pulled it out then the arm malfunctioned, I can't use it now.”

There is a long wire that should go from the elbow to his hand but at the forearm section is missing. “I think I can fix it.” Of course I can I've been replacing wires since I was eight. “What's your name?”

“I'm a soldier, I don't have a name.”

“Soldiers have names.” I say pushing my hair back I look at the wiring its more complicated than anything I ever seen. But still a broken wire is a broken wire all I need to fix it is right here.

“I don't.” The words sound forced like he's not used to talking.

“You do what did they call you?” They must have called him something other than the Winter Soldier.

His face is blank “Asset mostly.”

“Do you know who you use to be?”

“James Buchanan Barns.”Even his voice sounds robotic like he was all machine like this arm. Then in a little voice he says another name “Bucky.”

“How about this, I'll call you Bucky and you can call me Dylan.”

“That would be acceptable.” Some part of me says that he would've said yes even if he didn't like the idea.

I take a piece of stolen copper wire it's a good conductor using the pliers cut into the length I need. He doesn't look scared I'm if I mess this up he might just kill or leave me on my own.

“Damn it,” Live wires no gloves the shock hurts but it's fleeting. Bucky, doesn't move he is still as stone. With shaking hands “I'm using the duck tape I cover the wires, it will also hold it all in place. Its not how anyone else would fix it but it should work.”

“Thank you.”

“Flex your hand.”

He does it without question flexing his whole arm, moving it in circles. Then up and down bending it. Touching his fingers making a fist I tense as he does that he notices “I won't hurt you.”

“Why?”

His mouth moves he's trying to find the words but can't “I intercepted a message that the Soldiers Daughter would have to be activated early.”

Nodding I see that he took the file I had in my hand “Did you look at that?”

“No.”

“Can you read Russian?”

“Yes.”

I might not like what I find at home I just glanced at it “This is what my parents had on the Soldiers Daughter. You can read it.”

Bucky takes the file I turn on the TV not surprising when I turn to the news and find my face next to his on the screen. “They're looking for us.”

Since my statement is neither a question nor is it an order he doesn't respond or maybe he is shocked by what he's reading. I knew two things right now my parents aren't my parents they're my handlers and that this man Bucky Barns is my father. That wasn't so hard to see I look just like him. I was stronger than most people, faster I never questioned it before I my Mom said I was special and that's all I needed to know. Damn I was so stupid.

He looks over at me then back at the file then at me again his face shows no emotion has he been trained not show it. I see it in his eyes the shock and questions that he can't bring himself to ask. Walking over to me he bends down to look me in the eyes, we have the same eyes.

“You can ask me questions I know you want to.”

His mouth is open “I don't remember you.” Bucky touches my cheek with his human arm. This might be the first contact he's had with another human who hasn't tried to kill in seventy years.

“I don't think we ever met before.” I take his hand he doesn't move but his face changes from nothing to awe.

“My daughter.” That sounds like it's a person not a soldier talking it only lasts a moment because the sound heavy boots on the stairs brings the solider out again. He pushes me into the floor behind the bed as the door is kicked in. “Stay there.”

“Bucky?”


	3. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This in that file we found with you, Jarvis the lights.”  
> The lights dim and Jarvis brings up pictures of a girl on the big screen “This is Dylan Young. They call her the Soldiers Daughter.”  
> “Bucky you have a kid?”  
> “Yes, I didn't know that when I took her I just knew I had to.”  
> “Why?”  
> Natasha answers “They lost their Soldier and needed a new one. She's it. After World War II American and Russians fought for Nazi scientist. One the Hydra scientist tried to recreate the Eakins serum. It worked but if you survived you would be better.”

_**Steve** _

He's here in the same room with me the man I called a brother right here “Come on Buck you can do it.” We found him in motel in West Virginia it was bad he was shot multiple times left for dead. Hydra did this they used him till he broke thought, he didn't kill me. Even right now he was whispering my name and another name. “Who was Dylan?”

“Steve,” He says loudly.

“I'm right here Bucky.”

This time he opens his eye looking at me I see fear its only a minute then he thrashing trying to break free.

“Bucky,” I hold him down he gives the fight quickly. “Clam down its me, it's Steve.”

His chest heaving as he looks at my face “I know you.”

Nodding I stand straight “Yeah, do you remember me?”

“I tried to kill you. You let me.”

I smile “I did but you saved me.” Taking hold of his hand I help him sit “Look a doctor is going to come in here to check you out.”

“Nonononono.”His breathing gets shorter and more a product of years of torture that I don't want to think about.

“Bucky look at me,” I command him. He looks up not shaking or trembling, he's still to still “Whatever they did to you isn't going to happen here. I promise that you can say no if you want to.”

He nods but he's word sound forced “I can say no.”

“You can say no.”

There is a knock “Come in.”

He stays at the door “I'm doctor Banner I just want to look at your wounds see if they're healing.”

Bucky nods stand looking less like the Winter Soldieras he takes off the shirt Tony was all for putting him paper dress I said no. I shouldn't see be able to his ribs as clearly as I do, he is too skinny.

Bruce nods counting his ribs “You've been here for two days how long before that since you ate?”

“I ate the day before that.” Bucky says looking at his feet.

“When was the last time you ate and felt full?”

He still looks down “I don't remember.”

Banner nods “These are almost healed how do you feel?”

“Fine,” He look around there is a question on his lips.

“You can ask anything you want.”

“Where's Dylan?”

Bruce looks at me I don't anyone named Dylan “Whose Dylan?”

His face that was set in indifference now morphs into anguish “I have to go.”

I stop him, he pushes back Bruce step forward Bucky is about to punch him when his arm whirls then dies. It falls limp “Damn it.”

I take him to see Tony “Caption oh caption come in.”

“Howard?” Bucky looks at Tony like he's seen a ghost I understand the first time I saw Tony before I heard him speak I thought he was Howard too.

“Oh god no.” Tony says in the arrogant tone that is Tony.

I sigh “This is Howard's son Tony.”

“Stark.” He mutters still tense.

“Yeah he'll fix your arm.”

Tony pulls a chair out “Sit.” Bucky does. It seems that he'll follow an order and answer question easy enough but asking them that was hard.

He press a button on his shoulder opening the metal plates Tony gasps “This is incredible. Does it transmit like a normal arm can you think to it?”

“Yes,” He doesn't sound like he's in pain or maybe he just has a high tolerance for pain now.

Tony looks at the forearm there is wire covered in duck tape that's been burnt off I can see the glimmer of copper. “Did you do this?”

“No it was Dylan.”

“He's must be a clever kid.”

Bucky looks at the wire “She is very smart.”

“Who is Dylan?”

“A girl I have to save her.”

The lab door opens Natasha rush in “I know who she is.”

///\\\\\

Between the little knowledge Bucky has about his arm and Tony they get the limb off. Tony says he'll repair it but it will take day or two that makes him upset I clam him down but I still don't know why he's reacting like this.

We enter a conference room Clint is there, the tower had become a refugee camp for shield agents. They would pass through here some would stay a night or two then go home or just go trying to find a new place in the world. Clint stayed here because of Natasha they balance each other. Bruce had stayed her after the Battle of New York Tony insisted on it and it was hard to tell Tony no unless your Pepper.

“This in that file we found with you, Jarvis the lights.”

The lights dim and Jarvis brings up pictures of a girl on the big screen “This is Dylan Young. They call her the Soldiers Daughter.”

“Bucky you have a kid?”

“Yes, I didn't know when I took her I just knew I had to.”

“Why?”

Natasha answers “They lost their Soldier and needed a new one. She's it. After World War II American and Russians fought for Nazi scientist. One the Hydra scientist tried to recreate the Eakins serum. It worked but if you survived you would be better.”

“Why didn't they mass produce it?” Sam asks.

“They tried after it worked on Barns they mass produced it and injected Nazi prisoners of war. They all died written off as death in POW camps.”

“So they cut the program till the fall of the Soviet Union you were there. You almost died after that they bred you.”

I know she'll say more “Skip to the kid.”

“There were seven pregnancy's only one made it to term.”

“Dylan.”

“Yes, she inherited the affect of the serum form her father." Natasha looks at Bucky who is looking at he screen. They do look alike she reminds me of the Bucky I knew. "These are her handlers Harold and Rachel Young. They are in the wind.”

“I killed the man.” Bucky say not in timid way but in a more in business like tone.

“This girl is strong, she's just like you but they still have to train her.”

Bucky makes a fist with his hand “I won't have that.” That's why he saved her before he knew her, he didn't want anyone to go through his training.

“We'll find her,” I tell him.

_**Dylan** _

Its cold here always cold here since I'm in just my underwear any place would be cold I don't know where I am. It doesn't matter I'm hungry the last time ate was the morning I came home. Right now I don't know anything I don't even know if Bucky is alive the last time I saw him he was bleeding. I was pushing against agents yelling because I'm not a soldier I'm just college freshman. They put me here in this dark room no light at all and I've been here for days I know that much.

The door open the light blinds me I put my hands over my eyes as more rough hands drag me down the hall. Forcing me into room its gray nothing is here not a bed or even a chair. Just gray wall and gray floors except for one square piece of floor its big enough for me to stand on that's it. Above me are window I see men in lab coats they are writing about me.

One of them steps on forward presses a button “Subject will stay on the wooden area.”

“My name is Dylan.” I yell at them “I'm a person.”

“The Subject will not talk.” He presses another button, loud noise ring off the walls sirens and high pitched screams.

Holding my hands to my ears I don't scream this isn't a place where my screams will help me. I run to the wooden square still holding my ears it hurts when the noise stops my ears still ring.

Its around hour eight that step outside the safe area I yelp its heat the floor is heated hot enough to burn my foot. Looking at the men they write notes “Please let me go?”

The bells and sirens come back as I hold my ears its longer than before.

I start to sway two hours later its hotter the heat from the floor making me sweat my already dry throat is like sand paper. They write this down I can't stay up much longer my legs are screaming to rest.

The door opens a wave of cool air I fall any parts of my body out of the safe zone burns the smell of my burning flesh it hurts I stand again and fall. This time I fall into the arms that carry me to another room its not like the dark room. This room is lit but bare nothing not my clothes or a blanket or food.

I sink into the cool metal floor as the scientist says “Ten hours is really remarkable when one considers the Subject has no training.”

“My name is Dylan,” I say to myself. I will stay Dylan for as long as I can. How long did it take for Bucky to forget who he was I wonder?

_**Bucky** _

Tony says it will a two days to fix my arm, it's not good I have a mission to find Dylan. To save her from becoming like me. I've terrible things I see them at night, dreams they're called dreams. Mostly I dream of battles or of my training I would wake-up screaming not knowing where I am. Unless I dreamed of Steve then I would see two boys one frail and skinny and the one every said was me. Some nights we would be thrown out of movie cinema both of us laughing as I pull him from the dirt. We'd laugh all the way home to Brooklyn.

“Bucky?”

Was he still talking to me “Yes.” Was I in trouble failure to pay attention would result in punishment.

“You're not in trouble its time to eat.” The man says in a kind way, no this had to be test he knows what I am.

I nod following him to a another large room a table is full of every food I can think of it all looks so good. A loud whine like a cat rings out loudly when they all turn to me I look down. My stomach made that sound. With them I was given just enough to make the noise stop but I still wanted more. The doctor is here he asked when I last felt full I couldn't lie never lie.

“Sit down Bucky,” Steve says.

Sitting they all start to fill their plates “Eat something Barns.” Its not Steve who says it, it's the woman. Natasha, who gives the order.

Now I know why I was never allowed to eat till I was full, it made you slow and want sleep all the more. I'm only walking because I must Steve who is explaining how they live here.

“Clint and Natasha live one floor up they aren't together. Pepper and Tony live on the top floor in the penthouse and they are in a relationship. Bruce lives on this floor with me but I would knock before entering. Sam has an apartment on the thirty-second floor.” He stops at a door marked 38 “This is yours.”

“Mine?”

He nods “Yeah your apartment you can rest and relax here there is a gym on the just below the penthouse. Most of the labs are on floors 20-30 offices are below that. The rest of it Tony converted to apartments.”

I step Steve followed me turning on the lights its big “The bathroom is through there should be soap and stuff to wash your hair. And the bedroom is in here he knocks on the door.” Then adds “You can sleep in there. I'll come by in the morning with more clothes.”

“Okay.” I don't know why these are fine all I need is my arm back then I can find her before they make her forget. They did it to me they will do it her make her forget they'll make her like me. The world doesn't two of me really its doesn't even one but I have a mission.

Steve leaves I walk around touching everything looking out the window the lights of the city so bright. It's different from the time before I was a soldier there was less and more all at the same time. I had...it was something I had it and it was good. Then I went off to fight. After that I was soldier it was hard to remember I wasn't suppose to remember but I did. In truth want to remember more of the life I had before I was soldier back when there was more.


	4. Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your metabolism burns fast you need twice the number of calories as a normal person at the very least.” Banner says taking a blood sample from Bucky who is watching him intently. “The cellular repair rate is incredible you shouldn't even be able to walk right now. If I had to guess I would say you should back normal in a day.”  
> Steve asks the question I have been thinking the whole time “What about Dylan will she be like this too?”  
> “I would say so Jarvis translated the file for me.  
> “Who's Jarvis?” I've heard the name before but he's the one person I haven't met yet.   
> Bruce smiles “Jarvis say Hi.”  
> “Hello,” a British voice says from the ceiling. “I am Jarvis I run the tower and manage Mr. Stark's schedule.”

_**Steve** _

Bucky is sleeping on the floor beside the bed I see that he tried to sleep in the bed it was too much. Natasha said that this would be harder if he didn't have a mission, Tony didn't care Jarvis was watching him twenty-four seven. Asleep he looks more like the man I knew showing emotions like happiness. His eyes open when I move toward him standing he scans the room

“It's just me Buck. You know where you are right?”

“New York.”

“Right,” He touches his shoulder where is arm is this the longest he's been separated from it.

“How did you sleep?”

“Fine.” That's true he looks better less worn more human.

“Good, Tony has arm for you.”

“My arm?” He asks looking at the floor.

I sigh “No, but it's an arm.” I put my arm on his shoulder he tense ready for a fight. “It's gonna be okay Buck.”

“Okay.”

Putting some clothes on the bed “I brought these I figured you could shower then we'll see what Tony has done with your arm.”

He nods it came out as an order I kick myself for it “I'll be quick.”

“Take your time,” I say.

In and out in under five minutes he looks cleaner than I've ever seen him he reaches for the shirt. I might not have changed in seventy years he has, scars trail stomach, little burns marks around his side, and the metal plate on his shoulder where his arm use to be. It's all my fault that he has these scars or even the arm. Putting on his clothes he barely notices me and a small part of me wants to know how many scars he has. Another part says it's none of my business and that's the part I listen to.

Tony is waiting for us he has a metal table cleared off “Sit.” The easiest way to get Bucky do something was to give him an order his free will is gone, no its just locked away.

Tony sets the arm down its not metal it flesh colored “ What is that Tony?”

“It's not as power full as the one you had.”

“Need one just as powerful if I want to complete my mission.”

He nods “I know but since we don't know where your daughter is and shield is in ruins its just us. We don't much we need to gather intel.” He pushes into the metal plate connects fine or I think it does.

“How's it feel?”

Bucky moves it “I can see it moving but I can't feel it.”

“This has mircosenors, like robots that based on shoulder movements and emotion at the time will make movement using algorithm Jarvis deigned based on normal human functions and your own fighting style it should move accordingly.”

“Can I fight?”

“I think so you'll have to try it out I'm still working on the other arm.”

He nods wiggling the fingers they look like real fingers then the briefest of smiles cross his face “Thank you.”

This shocks Tony “Its nothing.”

“Come on Buck lets eat then we'll eat then test out your arm in the gym.”

He stands “Right.”

///\\\\\

By the time lunch is here most of the team is here Bruce is watching intently like he always does. Natasha and Sam make comments about out fighting styles and how they differ. Tony is taking bets on who will win the next round Clint has his money on me.

Bucky is amazing, he moves like most people walk his hit while not at their full power are fluid parts of him. I'm more blocky my fighting style is direct so I have to compensate when he slides past me. Ready to punch me while I try to block him I end up on my back while Tony with a smug grin says “Pay up.”

“Bite me Stark.” Clint says handing him a bill.

Pepper who watched the first two matches comes back in “If you're done beating each other up lunch is ready.”

“Natasha traced Rachel Young she boarded a flight out of the country too with the remains of her husband.” Clint says as we sit to eat.

“They left the county smuggling her out as a dead body. It's smart not many people can look at dead bodies. Where did she go?” Bucky says surprising us all this is the most I've heard him say in ever.

“Why France?” I ask. As he fills his plate eating so fast that I think he might be sick.

“We don't have look relations with France. By the time French police get there she'll be gone if she's not already they have a head start.” Natasha says sourly.

_**Dylan** _

I my stomach is making loud noise they haven't fed me was this to break me? I look window in my cell the scientist a man called Broom watches from the window. This morning I was standing for nine hours in the conditioning room that slowly got colder when I fell my knees they froze to the floor. They still haven't given me my clothes or any clothes. I am sitting in a metal chair its cold on my bare skin thankfully my knees that have stopped bleeding the exposed skin worries me. I want to touch them but suppress the urge and put my hands on my lap they are pale I haven't the sun in days.

“What's your name?” The woman, whom I once called Mother asks.

At first I thought she came to save me. When they put me back in my cell with my knees bleeding. What she did do was beat me til I was bleeding from places I didn't know could bleed also I had two broken ribs. Broom noted my injuries cleaned with water but no antibiotic. Now I was here she still had the wild looking her eyes, she hates me because Dad did die and she did love him. I'm not sure if she ever loved me I know now that she hates me.

“Dylan,” I answer my voice is stiff.

“What are you?” She walks around me like a shark circling a seal.

“A person.” I could do this all day I probably would be doing it all day.

“You are an Asset”

I shake my head “No I'm not.”

This time she backhands me “You are a weapon.”

“You're a bitch,” I say blocking her slap she stumbles back. “And predictable. Why are questioning me?”

“The Asset will only speak when spoken to.”

“Really cause you know me and that never worked before why would it now?”

She walks to me leaning down pressing my ribs I scream her voice is cold “I can do this now.”

“Fair is fair,” I head-butt her, smiling as her nose starts to bleed. I had not intention to go gently.

This time she hits me so hard I fall to the floor I huff as she kicks me again “You think your funny?”

Pulling myself up I grin “I am a product of my environment.” This earns me another kick.

“Agent,” Broom says “That's enough.”

“Same time next week?”

She leaves I fall too tired to pull myself up every part of me hurts fighting won't save me but it's all I can do. I could just say nothing. That would throw her off I was never a quite person. The door opens I curl inward as a bottle of water is pushed in nothing else. No metal or glass nothing that could make a weapon with.

My body needed food but could go without it for a few more days water was different I needed it they knew that so I was given a bottle a day. Taking the bottle drink some of it I might not get any more today. I check my knees they are raw but not bleeding, my lip is bleeding again, small lines were her nails got me are bleeding too. The dull throb in my chest “Stupid broken ribs.”

Where ever Bucky is I hope he's alive, maybe he did find Steve and he was learning to be a person again. That's a nice thought that one of us will live, I had a good life up until now. I thought about him a lot aside from the pain that's all I can do think about my Father. He could be looking for me he saved me once, he would save me again if he found me. Was I even in America?

_**Bucky** _

“Your metabolism burns fast you need twice the number of calories as a normal person at the very least.” Banner says taking a blood sample from Bucky who is watching him intently. “The cellular repair rate is incredible you shouldn't even be able to walk right now. If I had to guess I would say you should back normal in a day.”

Steve asks the question I have been thinking the whole time “What about Dylan will she be like this too?”

“I would say so Jarvis translated the file for me.

“Who's Jarvis?” I've heard the name before but he's the one person I haven't met yet.

Bruce smiles “Jarvis say Hi.”

“Hello,” a British voice says from the ceiling. “I am Jarvis I run the tower and menage Mr. Stark's schedule.”

“You're a computer?”

“I am an artificial intelligence unit.”

Looking at Steve “He's a very smart computer.”

We go back to my apartment just the two of us I still don't believe its mine “How's the arm?”

“Functional.”

“Does it hurt?”

Putting on hurt it hurt like taking the old one off hurt “No. I dream about you.”

There is no mistake his smile its brighter then whole city “You do?”

It would happen flashes of us fighting in battle or as kids “We're younger sixteen and outside it was summer time.”

“We would spend lots time outside in the summer.”

“There was a meteor shower,” After the hellicarrier I dreamed of him it helped me to understand why we couldn't kill each other. Bucky Barns was Steve Rogers were best friend, I wasn't sure who I was. A soldier? No a soldier does what he's told without hesitation maybe I was no one like they said.

“You'll remember more?”

“I do the good and the bad,” I look at my hands. “I've done so any bad things.”

“No,” He says his hand on my shoulder. “You didn't have a choice they took that from you. On the carrier you choose to save me and you saved that girl.”

“Then I let her get taken.”

“We'll get her back, Bucky.” He called me by a name even if the name didn't feel like it belonged to me it made me feel like a person not a weapon.

“We will.”

“ _Come on Steve,” A little me says getting on the ride. It's a sunny day in New York back in the 1930s. This is a rare day at the theme park, I don't know how I know I just do._

“ _I'm gonna puke if I ride this.” It's Steve a weaker smaller Steve but its him like the lanky boy is me._

“ _No you won't.” The little me says._

_He gets on the looking frail boy I could break him in half not me the soldier but me the lanky boy with a huge smile. It looks right on him the boy who can't be more then fourteen holding on the bar._

_They go around and around yelling loudly like two people who don't have any worries at all._

_The ride stops they both are so dizzy that walking is hard but the little Steve is looking green. Holding his stomach he looks for the nearest trash can._

_ The lanky boy takes the small thin boy to a trash can where he throws up “I told you I would puke.” _

_I see the little me try not to smile “Punk.”_

_Little Steve wipes his mouth “Jerk.”_

_They both laugh then notice me “Who are you?” The little me asks tilting his head to look at me._

“ _I guess I'm you.”_

“ _No your not that me,” He points another me. It's how I looked in the museum clean shaven with short hair combed. “That's me?_

“ _Aren't we the same?” I ask looking at the teenage me then at the clean me._

_The clean-cut me walks over “We don't have the same body but we have the same heart.” He holds out his left arm to my chest its flesh and blood I hold out the cold arm Tony made for me to feel his beating heart._

“ _Bucky?” All of us turn to see Dylan._

_She's different suited up like me holding a gun at the little Steve “I don't want to do this?”_

“ _Don't.” I say getting in the middle of them._

“ _I won't want to but I have to.” She pulls the trigger the tree Buckys step in front of Steve._

“No,” I sit-up on the floor of... “Where am I?

“New York , sir.”

Its Jarvis the computer I tell myself “Did you have a nightmare, Sargent Barns?”

“Yeah,” Breathing in long deep breaths.

“Do you require anything?”

“No,” I want to leave to run far from here. That's what I did on the street if had this kind of dream would out run it. “Yes the gym?”

“It's open twenty-hours.”

“Prefect.”


	5. Functional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony picks up a weapon I hold my hand up as blood pools around Bucky fist he hit the glass with his human hand. He breaths like cadged animal full of rage but weak or too scared to fight back. Three weeks was too long we needed to find Dylan now before they brainwashed her.   
> “Bucky?”  
> He turns to face me his stone set in with no expression most people would have pain all over their face. “I'm functional.”   
> “You're hurt. I'm going to take you to see Bruce but I need to calm down hitting things won't help anyone.”

_**Steve** _

He's running on the treadmill when I find him he missed breakfast I brought some of everything. Watching him run his clothes are covered in sweat “Jarvis how long has been at this.”

“Caption Barns has been at this for since three this morning.” It's almost nine now damn it.

“Bucky,” I don't yell Natasha said that would be bad we talked about it at breakfast. “Are you okay.”

He stops the machine “I'm fine.”

“Here,” I hold out the plate and water.

“Thanks.” He sits on the treadmill eating more slowly than yesterday.

“You been running long?”

He shrugs “I guess was I not suppose too.”

“No,” I say. How long before he stopped “You just missed breakfast.”

His face is hard to read he seems to be looking for the right word to say “Sorry.”

“Um when you're done Tony wants to see you about your new arm.”

He swallows his food than finishes the water stands “Right.”

I didn't mean right now “Are you done?” He's plate is half-full the Bucky I knew would never leave one crumb on a plate.

“Yes,” He walks toward the elevator. “Aren't you coming?”

Standing “Yeah.” I should tell him this so “You know that you get three meals a day here right. Breakfast is at eight, lunch is at one, and dinner is at seven.”

“I do?”

“Yeah,” We had a lot of work to do.

“You don't have to answer his but why were you running.”

Bucky looks down he's not wearing shoes “Bad dream.”

Right, he had over seventy years of nightmares material “Well if you ever want to talk about it instead of run for six hours you could talk to me.”

The elevator stops it opens and we made Pepper gasp “Steve, you didn't tell me you two would be here.”

We step off and she gets on leaving before either of us say anything “Did I do something bad to her?”

“No.” She's just scared because the Winter Soldier is fierce but Bucky is more afraid than anything else.

“Tony?” I call out this is his lab where he made is suits and other things that I really didn't understand.

“Back here.”

Even when I know this is wasted “Don't touch anything.” He walks around looking at it all he still isn't saying anything or showing any emotion his arm limp at his sides.

We find Tony holding Buckys arm the metal one “Is it done?”

“Um...Its dead it won't work ever again.”

His reaction a cross between sorrow and anger with anger being the most noticeable “How did?”

“You pulled the wire here and it's tied into the main system so the fix that your daughter did was a patch it works but the internal temperature burns throw the wire. I'll have to make you a new arm it's gonna take a three maybe four weeks.”

“Fuck,” He yells as he punches the nearest wall which is made of glass. It shatters sparing us with glass pebbles.

Tony picks up a weapon I hold my hand up as blood pools around Bucky fist he hit the glass with his human hand. He breaths like cadged animal full of rage but weak or too scared to fight back. Three weeks was too long we needed to find Dylan now before they brainwashed her.

“Bucky?”

He turns to face me his stone set in with no expression most people would have pain all over their face. “I'm functional.”

“You're hurt. I'm going to take you to see Bruce but I need to calm down hitting things won't help anyone.”

“Sorry,” its a whisper full of fear I don't want to know would happen if he had done that in a Hydra lab. My guess would be something painful because he's afraid now.

“I know you are come lets take you to the Doc and let Tony work.”

_**Dylan** _

The sound of the cell door opening wakes me I wasn't dreaming “Hey wake-up.” Its a guard he's a young one that's carried me back to this cell I look at him he has flashlight “Come on.”

“What is this?”

“I'm here to help you,” He says leading me down the hall past the conditioning room to another smaller room. Turning on the lights my stomach falls this its a rescue it another torture. Turing I push him but I'm not strong enough, he laughs pushing me on the blankets.

Closing the door he takes off his shirt “You can't do this.”

Leaning down so that he's on top of me I smell his breath onion and vodka “I can and will. Kissing my neck his hand goes down to my back undoing the hooks, while I push with all my might. This only makes him laugh as his erection press's against my thigh.

“Yeah keep fighting my girls to have a little fight in them.” His rip my bra off causing me to try and cover myself.

“Please stop this,” I beg as he sits up lording over me to unbuckle his pants.

He starts slowly to slowly pull my underwear down “Help.” I yell as loud as I can before his hand comes over my mouth.

He leans in to whisper “Don't a sound or I'll make you wish you were dead.”

Think, I say as he licks my neck.

His screams fill the room as I bite on his shoulder I stay there till blood fills my mouth. He puts his hand on his wound and kick him causing him to yell again. Then with the little adrenaline I have left I put him in coke hold feeling as his breath slows.

I take his pants, shirt and socks the boots are too big I have to run this might be my only chance. Walking out the door no one has raised an alarm yet I walk down the halls stopping when I hear voices.

“It is being stubborn,” Its Broom.

“I didn't spend the last nineteen years of my life rising a cry baby. It should be at breaking point soon. Another week.” She says there is a little pride in her voice when she talks about training.

“They went a soldier.”

They go down hallway to the right I go left. Its the same metal walls old rust stains the farther I go the more I see that this part of the faculty isn't in use anymore. There is door the words so faded I can't tell what they say. Opening it I see stairs looks of stairs would be an easy target on them.

“Attention men the prisoner has escaped. Repeat the prisoner has escaped.”

The loud sound of my feet on the metal stairs rings out I go up not even half way before they come. All in black with guns pointed at me they yell “Freeze.” I keep going running till my legs can't go anymore. Still I run to the door I open it and I recognize it from old movies. This Hydra base where Captain America lead the assault that destroyed Hydra in the 40s.

The door I open the door and Rachel is there holding a gun to my head “I could shoot you right now.”

“You could but then you wasted nineteen years of your life and Dad would've died for nothing.”

She doesn't shot me, the last thing I remember seeing it her gun coming toward my face.

_**Bucky** _

This is a strange place, I thought for sure after I would be sent to be conditioned for breaking the glass wall. Or beaten at least beaten but it didn't happen. Steve took me to the doctor who fixed who removed the glass and banged my hand.

“Where's Clint and Natasha?” I ask surveying the food it smells good he sees me.

“Eat something Buck.”

“France they left this morning,” Pepper says looking at a cell phone. “To pick-up the trail.”

“They won't keep her in France,” I say putting everything that can fit on my plate.

“Natasha said that but its a start.” She looks at my hand “Tony's the best at what he does he'll make you a new arm. He's working on it right now.”

After I saved Steve before I found Dylan I wandered around most people ignored me but I listened. Tony Stark was the best at making weapons I was confident that my new arm would be acceptable. Still it's mine the only thing that had been with me through every wipe and every kind of training. When I would be frozen it would freeze too then I was waken I would look at my arm. It's been with me since I can remember.

Pausing from my plate I ask because I can “Will it be like my old arm?”

They share a look I've seen it before when I asked the wrong question will it be different or was there a limit to myself here too. I could ask about how the mission would be done but not why. I could request maintenance but wanting something it wasn't part of my life. A weapon doesn't want or ask why it does its job without question or hesitation.

“Do you want it to be like your old arm?”

Slowly I nod.

Steve stands mad “Excuse me.”

“Did...Did do something wrong?” Would I be conditioned now could ask about certain things but not others.

Pepper smiles kindly “No. Don't you like the that arm.”

“It's functional, I'm functional with it.” When a weapon is no longer functional it disposed of.

“But you don't like it?”

No...Yes. What do I say? When I was with them I knew what to say, nothing. Here it's different I was asked a question and could give an answer. But, Steve didn't like my answer and of all the people here Steve was the one that didn't wait for me to become a weapon. He treated me like a person maybe he even...even cared about me.

“Bucky?” Pepper is holding onto my hand the one that bleeds “Are you okay?”

“I'm functional.”

A hard sigh was she's mad to “It's okay to not like something. You don't like this arm right?”

“Yes.”

She's kind like another woman I knew “It's okay to want to want something. Are you afraid of us hurting you?”

“A weapon does not not feel fear, a weapon does not ask questions, a weapon functions.”

“You're not a weapon,” She puts pressure on my hand “You're a human being you can feel things.”

Steve sits looking less angry and more guilty “I'm sorry.”

He's talking to me I know that much but “Why?

“For making you upset.”

This is all too much “It's okay. Can I go to my room now?”

“Sure Buck.”

My room I lay on the couch touching my stomach it was use to nothing really the few times that I was awake long enough to need nourishment it was gray and tasteless. Then went I ran I ate was ever I could steal, I ate so fast I couldn't taste it. Now there was so much to choose and just so much to eat the doctor said I needed to eat more than normal people. I never in my remembered life have done that.


	6. Tests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can leave Buck anytime you want,” I say patting his shoulder trying to stop another panic attack. It's not safe out there for him to be outside, he is on the top of every criminal watch list in nearly every country.  
> He nods “I know I shouldn't but I have to find her.”  
> “Its your mission.” Natasha said he would be like this focused on his mission when it was over he would break down.  
> Bucky looks me in the eye for just a moment “She's more then that, you're more than that too...you're my friend. We grow up together and went to a theme park you throw up.”  
> “I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to the people who read this I ask as writer should I keep going?

_**Steve** _

My cell phone rings waking me I press the screen “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong this you?”

“Natasha?”

She doesn't sound happy with me “You caused him to have a panic attack? I thought I told you watch what you say to him.”

Bucky asked if his new arm would be like the old one and all the anger inside me boiled over. I left the room that didn't help I saw him panic but Pepper stopped me from helping I heard him talk himself as a weapon. After that he left muttering something in Russian I felt horrible for what I'd done.

“I know but he wants his arm back.”

She isn't even mildly shocked by this “How would you like it if I took your shield away the one thing that's been with from the start and replaced it something completely different.”

“That's not the same.”

“How? Look I have an interrogation to start so I'll call you when its done to give an update.”

“Okay.”

Lying in my bed I know she's right my shield was part of me I had it on every mission and even I was frozen. Bucky's metal has been a physical part of him for so long of course he would miss it.

Going into the living room of my apartment I sigh “Jarvis?”

“Yes Captain Rogers?”

“Bring up the video feed from Bucky's apartment.”

“Yes sir,” The TV changes from commercial to the Bucky's apartment its late. He isn't on the floor this time he is on the couch. From the way he tosses I can tell he's having a nightmare.

///\\\\\

The next morning is better and worse Bucky is up before any of us not running but staring at a map of the city. A few places had been marked “What's going on?”

“I remembered these,” He say making a circle around the a few blocks on the East-side. “They're safe houses, I was suppose to get there if a mission ever aborted. There might be people here still.”

I nod “Okay.”

“They might know something about were Dylan was taken.”

“Natasha called last night she was about in interrogate someone.”

He nods “She'll get them to talk.”

“How do you know?”

His face tenses for a moment “I've met my share.”

“Tony needs to run a few tests on you?”

Clenching both of his fists “What kind of test?

Looking at the map “It's for your new arm, it won't hurt.”

“It always hurts,” He mutters.

It gets worse when we enter the lab, Tony has an MRI machine set-up “What the hell is that?”

Tony rolls his eyes “It's a machine that will show me how your brain talks to your arm.”

Slowly he nods walking the machine he must want that new arm badly “Wi...Will it hurt?”

Tony shakes his head “No take off your shirt and belt.”

That he does without question ordering him to do something was still the easiest way to get him to do it. But he was asking questions and that was good enough for me. Till Tony started the machine. His breathing is labored like when Tony took the arm off, he's trying not to scream. He's waiting for it to hurt for us to make him forget I want to say something but I don't know what or how to say it.

“Try to wiggle your arm,” Tony tells him.

The limb is still but the screen lights up “That is that?”

“That is the part of the brain that controls the arm. The screen switches to another part of the body. “These are nerves that get the message from the brain.”

“We can use that and the what we learned from the old arm to make a new one.”

The machine stops and Bucky stands looking at his left arm then at me, than there is a small smile on this face “I remember.”

I pretend that I don't hear him “Come on lets get back to your map.”

“Right,” We walk back to the elevator. “Can I leave the tower?”

“Um...”

“Sorry,” He says looking down “I shouldn't have asked. It's nice here but I...”

“You can leave Buck anytime you want,” I say patting his shoulder trying to stop another panic attack. It's not safe out there for him to be outside, he is on the top of every criminal watch list in nearly every country.

He nods “I know I shouldn't but I have to find her.”

“Its your mission.” Natasha said he would be like this focused on his mission when it was over he would break down.

Bucky looks me in the eye for just a moment “She's more then that, you're more than that too...you're my friend. We grow up together and went to a theme park you throw up.”

“I did.”

This emboldens him “You were little too.”

I laugh “I was.”

_**Dylan** _

I hate this new training not that the training before was fun but this was different I could handle it. The heat, the cold, beating I got through it by telling myself that I was person. This new training didn't allow a thought.

The loud bells and sirens were going off all the time so much that I couldn't even think. I was in my cell waiting for her to come and ask like she does everyday.

Sitting in the chair I smile “Mommy?”

She slaps me “What is your name?”

“Dylan.” My head hurts from having all that noise.

“What are you?”

“A person.” I'm a person I think, therefor I am someone said that I know the name of the person...he was french.

“You are an Asset”

I shake my head “No I'm not.”

Leaning in close the she press my temple where her gun hit me “You are a weapon.”

Standing I smile “No, I'm not.”

Taking the chair she smiles “You will be?”

Laying on my stomach I trace a pattern on the floor the guard who I killed I think about him I dream about him. I wonder if it would have been better for him to kill me before I kill innocent people. Bucky will come for me, I know that he would.

“Dylan, my name is Dylan Barns and I'm a person not a weapon.”

It's been four days I would not break after four days I am stronger then that I'm stronger than that.

Closing my eyes I think of my life I remember back to when I was four when life was simple. There was a tree in my back yard I would climb it all the time going to the top thinking I could see the world. Now I'm here I and want to be back in that tree safe in my ignorance. It's enough to make me cry, I can't cry if I cry then they win and I would not cry not for them.

Just when I was about to sleep they come back the sirens and screams all of it going around in my head. I put my hands on my ears till the sound is only a dull throb against my head. Great what little sleep I was getting will be gone now I hate this new training I want life to be simple again.

_**Bucky** _

When I saw the machine I was ready to run, I could get out of the building I had a functional arm and I'm healthy enough to travel. In fact I could run now to the safe house to find my answers. I was given an order I followed it staying here letting them use that machine on me. I was sure I feel them pulling my memories away. I was waiting for the pain I was waiting for it and it never came. Tony told me to wiggle my arm but I couldn't its just metal and wires not connected to me.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Sargent Barns.”

“Bring up Dylan's file.”

He does I never watched TV but I was interested in my daughter, that word felt wrong in my mind. Weapons don't have children they have newer models.

“Are you looking for something, sir?”

“No,” I say looking at her photo's they are of her as newborn.

Then she's older a few months older on the floor looking at the person taking the picture. Next she is walking on fat baby legs to a Rachel Young. She looks happy, I doubt that she is happy now.

“Does it say how old she is in this one?”

“Seven.” The computer says in its half robotic tone. She in denim overalls and white shirt handing by her legs smiling at the camera. Her hair is black but cut boyishly short.

“ _James Buchanan Barns get out of that tree.” The woman says crossing her arms in a way that makes me frown. Steve's his arms are crossed too both of them are upset with the little me._

“ _Oh Ma I was just playing.”_

“ _You'll just play yourself to the hospital if you keep this up.”_

_Steve looks at me “That's no fair Buck I said no hiding in tree's”_

“ _You'd find me if I don't.” He would find me all the time unless I climb tress since he couldn't climb without help._

_He puts his arm around my shoulders “That's the point its hide-and-seek.”_

“ _Come on boy let go.” Ma says and we unwilling go._

“Bucky.” It's Steve who says it bringing me back to now.

“Steve,” I say looking at there is traces of little boy in him still.

“Yes I'm Steve and you are?”

“Bucky.” When I say it I feel my mouth pull up into a smile.

He smiles a huge smile “You remembered something.”

I point to the picture “I climb a tree in central park we were eight, you and my mom were mad at me. She said I would break a bone and you said I was cheating in our game.”

“You were,” He says firmly.

“It's the only way I could win you found me every time.” Steve did he found me after I was shot and before I was their soldier.

He looks at the picture “She looks just like you are. I wonder who here mother is?”

Jarvis answers “The name Tonya is listed in her file as the mother in her medical records.”

“Thank you Jarvis,” Steve says.

I look around its dark, three meals a day it must be time for the last one “You came to get me for dinner?”

“Yep.”

“Could I stay here instead?” Three meals is a lot when I was use to not eating at all.

“I'll bring you some food.”

He does come back with more food than I could eat in a week “I got a little of everything.”

“Thanks,” Since this day was good and I had more trust for them I ask more questions. “We never ate like this before did we?”

“No, never.”

The picture changes she's in a white robe with a green belt “She can fight.”

“She's strong,” He agrees.

I hope she is strong enough for this “What happens after we save her?”

He rubs his face “I don't know.”

“She'll need a place to stay will Tony let her stay here?

“Of course he will, Tony is a good person he just likes people to think he's not.”

“Why?”

“No one knows why.” Jarvis says and Steve laughs. I wasn't programed with a sense of humor.


	7. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's your name?”  
> “Dylan.” Stepping back I leave him on his knee's I can't stop this all I can do is lie “I'll remember you.”  
> The shot rings out and I order myself to not cry “That's six people that are dead now because of you.”  
> Turning to the glass “What do you want?”  
> I get no answer of course I know they want me to kill to be a killer “Take it back the cell.”  
> “I'm a her.”  
> Taking my arm they lead me away back to the cell the whole day is bad but this is the worst part. “Sit.”

_**Steve** _

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Why wouldn't I this is my mission,” Bucky says loading a gun with a determined look on his face.

The raid on the safe houses have to be summations or the agents in the other houses will run and anyone who knew anything about Dylan would be gone. This is long shot at best I know it and he knows it but he has to try.

“Nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous I've done I don't how many missions and most of them were successful.”

How does he know that “Right. You do know that you don't have to kill on this mission.”

“Would I would I kill someone who has valuable information?”

I sigh “You won't.”

“Are you functional?”

“Of course.” I hated that word functional, it was cold inhuman it made me hate Hydra more. He asked me though he was concerned about me.

There are four safe houses Bucky mission was an abandoned office building downtown and I'll be taking an apartment on the east side. Natasha was raiding a house in Queens, Sam was charged with a warehouse in the Bronx. It was Bucky's first time out of the tower I was nervous. Tony was staying in the tower to track police movement.

Leaving Bucky to check his equipment walking the makeshift command center “Mr. Stark?”

“Caption,” He doesn't turn from his screens. “There is a heavy police presence in Queens but other then that it's fairly quiet. Or as quiet as New York can be how's the Terminator?”

“Functional,” I say with all the hate I have.

“Don't worry about him I'll be tracking him.”

///\\\\\

“This is the caption check on channel 3?” I whisper into my Comm link my eyes on the building.

“Black Widow checking in.”

“Falcon checking in.”

“Winter Soldier checking in.”

I have led missions before it never gets easier not knowing if I'll lose a man if we'll fail. “Iron Man are we clear?”

“Yes, the police are responding to calls taking them far from you.”

“Copy that.” I give the order. “Move in.”

**Dylan**

Blocking a punch I counter with a blow to his stomach he groans painfully I have to do this. If I want to have any silence today I have to make this man bleed, he's not a guard or scientist. Kicking his legs out from under him causes him to fall with a loud thud that echoes through the room. On his back I pounce on him pushing my arm onto his neck I “Yield.”

He uses his weight to roll me over, pinning my arms “I can't.”

“Sorry,” I head butt him causing him to cry out in pain fall onto his back. I'm on top of his heaving chest blood is falling from the either side of his face. This is my sixth fight one of them will beat I know that but I have to keep fighting. I can fight, I've been trained in fighting hand-to-hand combat since I was little. My body knows how to defend itself it won't give-up.

“Enough.”

We both stand him breathing heavy the guard comes in holding a gun out to me. I look to the glass window they want me to kill his boy I say boy, when likely me age. It's a loaded gun the first time I used it on the observation window it was just the one bullet and it cracked the glass. The frightened scream of the lab coats caused me to smile till the guard came in to give me a black-eye.

“Kill him.”

Taking the gun I switch the safety on ejecting the clip I take the bullet out “NO.”

The boy who is now sobbing like a child gets on his knees at my feet “Thank you.”

“I won't kill you.

"What's your name?”

“Dylan.” Stepping back I leave him on his knee's I can't stop this all I can do is lie “I'll remember you.”

The shot rings out and I order myself to not cry “That's six people that are dead now because of you.”

Turning to the glass “What do you want?”

I get no answer of course I know they want me to kill to be a killer “Take it back the cell.”

“I'm a her.”

Taking my arm they lead me away back to the cell the whole day is bad but this is the worst part. “Sit.”

“Nice to see you too,” I say sitting in the metal chair.

“What is your name?”

“Dylan.” It doesn't when she hits me hurt like it did before my body is growing tougher I don't know if that's a good thing or if it's bad.

“What are you?”

Smiling I breathing out “A person.”

“You are an Asset”

I shake my head “No I'm not.”

“You are a weapon.”

“No.”

“You killed before, you can do it again.”

That was different he wanted to hurt me I reacted and I didn't know that I killed him till Broom told me. I stand my body protesting I ignore it “I won't kill for you.”

“You will.”

Laying down I feel sleep over taking my body I was suppose to say something but I'm too tired.

_**Bucky** _

The mission is a success no casualties and minor injuries “Do you want me to numb it?”

“No,” I say looking at my left leg. The target was armed I was able to neutralize him but he cut my leg. At first I didn't know, I would never have come here if Steve hadn't noticed the blood.

Bruce nods “I thought so.”

Steve is in the room his face is twisted into an emotion that I can't name “Natasha is interrogating the prisoner.”

Nodding I should be there “She is good but he won't talk to her.”

“How to do you know that?” The doctor asks his needle moving through my skin.

“Because...I just do.”

He nods “Are in any pain at all?”

“No, I feel the needle going in and out “It doesn't hurt should it?”

Steve nods “You have a high tolerance for pain.”

“Have you ever had an injury that was numbed before treatment?”

Knowing the reaction from Steve will be one of anger I look down “No.” The doctor continues working. “How did you come to be here?”

He's shocked by the question I see that much “I have anger problems. When I was younger I injected myself with a serum it made into a dangerous man. For a long time I was on the run. When Shield found I met Tony. He's a good person a little extricate at times but you'll get used to him”

“I find it very hard to believe that you are a dangerous man.” There are many things I don't know but I do know that this man isn't violent. I have been around violent people for decades, I'm the worst one of them too.

He rubs something on the cut “Ask Natasha, she's seen me in action. You shouldn't be running for the next day or so. I'll take the stitches out tomorrow it should be healed by then.”

///\\\\\

Two hours later I'm in the room with the target “Do you know who I am?”

He nods.

I circle him “Good, then you know lying to me will not end well for you. I am going to ask you some questions. You will answer them all.”

“Or what?”

Pushing his down I lean down “You don't ask you answer.”

“How many bones are in the human body.”

“206.”

“Very good. Do you know where the Dylan Young is?”

“Yes.”

“Where is the Dylan Young?”

“I don't know.”

This time I take his right hand twisting the pinky figure “I'll ask this question 205 times if I need to. Where is Dylan Young?”

“You're a traitor to Hydra,” He'll break I know he will I've been this many times before and this man is weak.

I punch him hard enough make his lip bleed, he spits out the fragment of a tooth “Where is Dylan Young?”


	8. The Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm a bad person, I've done so many bad things-"  
> "No." I say before he can even finish his sentence "You're a good person you were made to do bad things but that doesn't mean you have to be bad."  
> His long sigh rings under the door "I don't what kind man I have to be."  
> Holding back tears I tell him "You get to choose what kind of man you want to be that Bucky I know that's hard to do but who you are is your choice and yours alone. I can't tell you, no one can tell you have to figure it on your own."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was dead in how to get this next chapter would go so I didn't write anything then the wonderful AbigailHead15 asked when I would update. I had a burst of inspiration and this happen. To Abigail I hope you like this I wrote it for you.   
> P.S translation are at the end.

Steve

"Steve you should go?"

"No." I would be a hypocrite if I left Bucky is my firend no matter what.

He circles the agent who is holding his broken hand his blood dull against the shine of the table "Go to hell."

"I've already been," His voice is different it's the cold a voice that will give no mercy to the poor soul who hears it.

"They'll make her a better asset than you ever where."

Bucky kicks the chair from under him causing the man to fall to his knees giving Bucky the perfect moment to twist his arm backward "Where is Dylan?"

"Fuck you."

The agent doesn't scream just a sharp intake of breath "That's two broken bones and one missing tooth."

He laughs still on his knees "You think I can't take a beating."

Bucky circles the man "I'll make you talk."

This time he is screaming the ribs breaking sound different its more stepping a potato chip not the bubble gum pop of the arm breaking.

It takes four hours and twelve broken bones before the Hydra man gives up her location I remember it. They old Hydra base where I thought I had ended Hydra that was a lifetime ago. After the interrogation was over Bucky just walked out of the room back to the apartment that Tony gave him. I followed him there as he entered the shower to wash off the blood he's on the other side of the door I hear him breathing.

He hears me to "Steve?"

"Yeah Buck."

"I'm a bad person, I've done so many bad things-"

"No." I say before he can even finish his sentence "You're a good person you were made to do bad things but that doesn't mean you have to be bad."

His long sigh rings under the door "I don't what kind man I have to be."

Holding back tears I tell him "You get to choose what kind of man you want to be that Bucky I know that's hard to do but who you are is your choice and yours alone. I can't tell you, no one can tell you have to figure it on your own."

"They took that choice from me and they'll take it from her too won't they?"

"Yes."

He shuffles into a standing position and I mimic the movement so that when the door is open we're stand face to face.

"Thank you," He holds out his hand.

I shake it "I told you till the end of the line."

He nods "I remember telling you that before when you were smaller."

"Yeah we've always been there for each other."

Bucky

Steve leads me back to the conference room where I had been just a few days ago Natsha has her back to us her posture suggest that she in deep thought. Clint the archer is looking at a copy of Dylan's file. I could recite the whole file now, she was like Steve kind to me when no one else was. Steve...I'm still unsure of what my relationship is with him.

I know that he cares for me in a way that is almost familiar my dreams are telling me that I was Bucky Barns. And care for him too I feel different around him less like a weapon and more like a person. Steve said I could be whoever I wanted to be...who I want to be is good but to finish my mission I need to be hard.

"Vy znayete, buduchi tyazhelo i zhestokost' ne odno i to zhe." Natsha says after regaurding my conflicting look. 

Being hard and being cruel aren't the same thing that make no sense "Kak zhe tak?"

"Kto-to , kto trudno ne bez chuvstva , no zhestokiy chelovek nichego ne chuvstvuyet , kogda oni prichinit' bol'."

"Kak vy znayete, chto ya mogu chuvstvovat'?" I ask in the now silent room no one else speaks Russian Steve seems to understand a little but even he looks lost.

"Zhestokiye lyudi ne tratyat chas v dushe pytalsya otmyt' krov' s soboy oni ne chuvstvuyut ni na yest' kozhi. On chuvstvuyet, kak kto-to vylil betona na vas ne tak li?"

She is right after my interrogation I felt that man's blood on just like all the missions before I would feel the sweat and blood harden on my skin. Now that I had words to describe it I know it's guilt and shame that I am feeling.

Steve says I can be anyone I want to be but I still don't know who that man is. "Kto ya polagayu, chto eto?"

"YA ne skazhu tebe, kto ty tol'ko vy mozhete sdelat' eto."

"Thank you," I say in English.

She smiles warmly "You're welcome. Now how do we get your kid back."

"This place was fortress when I was there in 1945."

"It still is," Tony says entering the room. "I borrowed a SHEILD satellite and the whole mountain is active.

The screen changes to a snowy mountain there is large hanger door still open it looks abandoned "Its looks empty."

"Fallaces sunt apparentiae."

Natsha chuckles "Still can't live that one down Stark."

"This is the old base at the top of the mountain," The inventor says as the picture changes to an infrared image at the base of the mountain. There are multiple red dots all moving at the base but no way to tell where the targets come from or how they get out.

"We need a way in we can't crash like the last time we don't have the numbers." Steve says his jaw set in a hard line.

"Can the informant give us any more information," Clint asks me.

"No."

"The only person who can tell us anything about that place would be there we could go there kidnap a worker." That would be Natsha get information by kidnapping a good plan but they would notice.

Steve doesn't agree "We don't need an informant that's just another person to look out for we need a map."

"I don't know Steve placing a trackers is difficult?" Clint.

"I agree," I say "They would check for that."

"Jarvis please tell Banner to bring Chemical 12 to the conference room."

"Yes sir," the manichical voice says.

"Chemical 12 and will it blow it up?"

"No Robin Hood its a biochemical tracer that Banner developed in case he ever goes Hulk so I can find him. Once it's in the bloodstream it stays there for 12 hours till the liver breaks it down but that should be enough to track his path."

Dylan

I remember my tenth birthday party is was at a skating rink and had gotten new skates that morning. My friends all came we all skated for hours with the endless energy that all little kids have. The room was hot with our breath and our laughter it mixed into the taste of childhood. Laying here in my cell I can still remember the cake was round with purple flowers and it said happy birthday Dylan I remember blowing out the candles wishing to win at an up incoming marshal arts meet.

All I have are memories now I remember being a kid thinking that life would always be one great and sunny day. I was a teenager and all I wanted was freedom to be away from the rules that my parents set for me. Then I was in college with all that freedom at my finger tips. It was right after the first football game of the year and I learned that I couldn't get drunk. That didn't stop me from going to another boys dorm.

It wasn't my first time but it was amazing and when I woke-up the next morning he offered to get me coffee. When I went back to my own dorm I lay down on my bed freshly showered my thoughts filled with my future. I wanted to have all the fun I could have here then get a job Stark Industries becuase to an engineer that is the motherland. Then I would have my own Job and my own place to live no roomate or parents. It would be at long least my life were I set the rules, were I could be in charge.

Then maybe seven years later when I was in stable place with my awesome job I would focus on finding a husband. He would be a good man because I have good taste my Mother made sure that I could tell the difference. We would be partners like my parents, we would happy and we would be mad. I didn't think it would be fun and happy all the time I thought life was a balance of good and bad. But, it would be good life and maybe when I was ready to I would have kids of my own. Then when I was an old woman having done whatever good I could do I would be gone.

The door opens I move to stand but I can't my body is out of tricks its eating the little fat that I have. They move toward me the sound of my mothers heals sound like knives coming to cut me into pieces.

"Get up."

"I can." My body waits for the kick or hit or shock it knows and I know that pain is coming because that's what my life is now. Pain.

"Get-up weapons do not feel tired."

I sigh talking is very tiring "Dylan my name is Dylan Barns."

She chuckles "Your our weapon now get up."

"I can't."

Broom looks at me his face is gleeful "Finally."

"Take her medical get her started on an IV no solids."

An IV that's good at this point any kind of nutrients would be welcome and I don't think I could chew at this point. No one is coming to rescue me and I can't get out I had to my chance and its gone now. I can't walk to the medical bay the large hand encircles my thin arms dragging me. They still want me to be there's I won't they should just kill me...I want them to kill me. I feel dead already and to tried to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> You know being hard and being cruel aren't the same thing.  
> How so?  
> Someone who is hard isn't without feeling but a cruel person feels nothing when they inflict pain  
> How do you know that I can feel?  
> Cruel people don't spend an hour in the shower trying to wash blood off themselves they don't feel it on there skin. It feels like someone poured concrete on you right?  
> Who am I suppose to be?  
> I won't tell you who you are only you can do that.


End file.
